I would try to stay sleeping as long as I could. Then it came a point where I couldn't sleep any longer and I was beginning to get so dope sick I needed to get out of the bed and get well. I was
still living with my mother at this time so I had all and any drug shit stashed where she couldn't find them. I would get my kit and head right for the bathroom. Only when it was early morning when my mother was still sleeping would I stay in my room and get well, but most times I went
in the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom the ritual began. Taking out the needle, spoon, tie, cotton, and of course
the bags of dope.
I would try to be as quiet as I could opening the bags and emptying them into the spoon.
Then once they were on in the spoon I would add the water. Mixing it and sucking it up into the needle were all part of the ritual.
Toward the end I needed 4 or 5 bags just to get well in the morning just so I could function and shower and brush my teeth. Sometimes I would have such a hard time finding a vein that it
would take me almost 30Min's just to get off. The needle would be filled almost to the top with blood and dope and I keep poking myself because I refused to skin it. I needed to get it right in, and see the blood.
Then once I got it, I would feel the warm rush inside my body and felt myself getting better. Suddenly any troubles I was thinking about slipped away even if it is only for that moment. Any and all pain is totally gone. Now the only thing I'm feeling is a warm comforting blanket all over my body. Its an amazing feeling, and I do love that feeling oh so much.
4 comments:
Mmmmm - the rush. It's so amazing. The feeling is just so good. The first shot of the morning, the "wake-up shot," is the best. Even though I'm not using heroin everyday anymore, if I have any bags on me, I have to do one as soon as I wake up!
I definitely know what you mean about having a ritual when you prepare shoot up. It's almost like the ritual is part of the high! I'm always so careful and precise when I'm getting my shit ready. I also refuse to skin-pop no matter how long it takes me to find a vein.
Did your mom know that you were banging (or using) dope? Does she know now? If she does, how does she feel about it?
Tori ♥
Yes the rush the riual all gave me satisfaction.
My mom knows all about my addiction and how I use it.
She hates drugs, she only smoked some pot when she was younger she doesnt like drugs at all.
So of course she hates me using them but I have calmed down quite a bit. I dont do half the shit I used to.
Not to say I'm better but I NEVER robbed her or from her. I just couldnt do it.
Email me homegirl!
Damn...
I started noddin' just readin' that shit!
Holy fuck Skillz, I'm there. You saw my worst, yes you did, my good friend. For that I apologize. But yea, you know I can relate.
It ain't easy bein' sleazy is it, haha?
Hugz to you and the wife!
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