Well it is 3:45 am and I am still awake. I have been watching some classic movies on Youtube like "Panic In Needle Park". I love that movie.
The first time I ever saw it, was when it was playing in BAM here in Brooklyn.
Gypsy and I went and saw it. It was my first time seeing it, but not for her. It was really cool seeing it on the big screen I must say.
I'm reading blogs, emails, also emailing my homie Shane because he is up as well. Only because theres a like 5 hour time difference so he is up at somewhat a normal hour.
I didn't work this week. My so called "friend" totally flaked on me.
Said that he was only able to use me for 4 hours and pay me 20 bucks. Now if you do that math that's 5/ hour. I'm sorry but I'm not a Mexican. I told him forget it, along with some other choice words.
I wasn't mad at that fact that what he wanted to pay me
I was mad at the fact that he asked ME to work and help HIM and then totally dissed me you know?
Also not to mention I did him a big favor by uploading his art, ( if that's what you want to call it, to me a 2 year old can draw better but whatever ) uploaded it to myspace, and made a slide show for him and posted up bulletins, and went all out on the thing for him.
See lately this is what is turning me off to people.
People seem to take my kindness for weakness and it's making me be a total fucking bitch. It's making me be cold. It's making me not want to even help people.
I try to do a few nice things for people and then you give them a quarter, they want a dollar.
Like I said just turning me away from even wanting to meet anyone, or talk to anyone, or do anything for anyone....
On an brighter note Gypsy and I went out to dinner tonight. We had a good time and just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.
Something we surely needed.
Well almost 4am and I have to be up soon
Hope all is well with everyone!
Stay Up!
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8 comments:
Hiya sKILLz,
I experience exactly the same problems due to my kindness. It used to bother me, but i thought "fuck it!" why let a few ignorant shits change me. Kindness is a strength, and your good friends will never take advantage of that.
xxx's for you.. roses for the dogs. Take care, Shane. x
You're not a Mexican. Now THAT is some funny SHIT girl. Yes, I too feel taken advantage of. I have been saying NO a LOT lately. Mostly to the people who only think about themselves. You should try it! Sometimes it feels good to say no.
Shane:
Yes I think everyone does at some point or another its just letting know when to say no, and stop giving to people who just don't either deserve it or don't appreciate!
Stay Up
Queenneenee:
Glad you found it funny. I thought most people would find it mean, but I don't really care what people think most of the time when it comes to my blog you know?
I'm starting to say NO ALOT lately and I see how the people who I usually give to are very shocked because there so used to me saying yes to everyone or anything you know.
Now it's a new me and I'm not giving shit unless I Totally feel they need or deserve it!
Stay Up
I liked the you're not a Mexican line, too. I laughed.
I love you, sKILLz. Don't change.
I cut my neighbor's lawn again this weekend because you inspire me to help other people. Don't change because of a few pinheads.
Love, SB.
SB:
I'm REALLY glad that I inspired you to do something nice for someone.
Like I have said I TRY to always do something nice to people just seems lately that people are taking advantage.
Again maybe its the people I'm doing it for..whatever your right I'm not going to change the way I AM because of a few pinheads!
Stay Up!
I think that if I'm in self-pity mode then I start to feel resentment about people not doing as much for me as I do for them. Whose keeping score? I guess that I feel that need sometimes. It's a waste of time.
Syd:
I understand what you mean by that but honestly I myself am not in self pit mode like you put it.
I myself think I'm just sick of people trying to get over on me.
Try to take my kindness for a weakness.
Then again I TRY to look at the people as to where its coming from ya know?
Stay Up!
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