Another Angel Or Another Junkie?

If someone would have told me what I was getting into when I started I don't think I would have ever touched dope. Then I start thinking, well if I didn't do the things I did and go the route I went, would I be the same person I am today? Would I have met the same people?
I think the hurdles I have overcome have made me into the person I am today and I like to
think that I'm a pretty good person. Sometimes too good of a person. Sometimes I don't know when to say no to people. Gypsy keeps telling me I have to learn to say no to people if not they
will walk all over me, and she sure as shit is right and I'm learning slowly but surely.
I can't help it sometimes though, its who I am. I believe that God doesn't like ugly and Karma never sleeps. I might not have everything I want in life but I have everything I need and that's a blessing.
A woman on the program Judy has 3 kids. One is 19 years old and already a heroin and crack addict. Her other 2 kids are young and in school and
are the cutest things. The youngest son 
loves me, and every time he sees me he asks
to use my iPod. Of course I let him use it,
because
I know that's the only time of his day where hes actually having a good time.
The rest of his and his sisters day will consist of being the
lookout while there mom steals whatever she can from
the stores she goes into! I really 
hope they don't turn to drugs, but lets be
honest there odds aren't so great 
right?! So today I saw the older son, Freddy, and he made a comment
"I'm a fly mother fucker". I turned to him and said " Your ok, but keep getting high
and see how fly you will be looking then". His response was something I have heard too many times. "I wont be doing this much longer, I'm going into detox soon and I'm quiting"
Another thing I heard today was this pregnant bitch Jessica who hasn't been to a doctor
since getting knocked up might have had the baby. She might have lost it by stillborn, she might have lost it to the system. Only time will tell. I'm sure once one
person from the program knows the truth of the
matter it will spread like wildfire. 
Just like all the gossip does in every methadone program.  Jessica was using Methadone, Xanax, Klonapin, Crack and anything else she could get
her hands on while being pregnant. Do I feel bad for her?
No! I feel bad for that fucking baby that's in her and for
the pain its going to feel when it comes out into the world,
again if it makes it out alive!
It just makes me sick that a person like her gets pregnant
by a loser who has 4 other kids, meanwhile she has 2 kids
of her own that she doesn't even take care of herself really. Jessica's kids take care of themselves
mostly, because 95% of the time Jessica is stoned!
So do you think it would be a bad thing if that baby were to have gone to heaven?