My Mother Is My Father

Today is fathers day and I haven't spoken to my father in about 10 years. He still talks to my older sister, and brother.
See they for some reason still choose to keep in touch with him. I think they feel sorry for him more then anything.
My father was an alcoholic, and is still a very bad gambler. So every so often he calls needing money for this and that and I can't say if they give it to him or not because as soon as the topic of him comes up I shut it right down.
I let them know I don't want to know anything about him and frankly I could care less what's going on in his life.
He is a liar, a cheat, and did my mother dirty for many years.
He used to make lots of money being a bookie. He had one of the biggest illegal street number business going in Brooklyn at one point so money was not a problem.
One thing I can't front on is that he bought us everything we ever needed or wanted.
However that did not make up for the many nights wouldn't come home at a time. The times he would come home piss drunk and take it out on one of us.
the times he would come home from losing money and take it out on one or all of us.
As time went on he started gambling more and more and losing money more and more.
So many times he couldn't even give my mother money to pay bills & my mother would come up with the money to make sure we had what we needed, sometimes not what we wanted. What we wanted was not an option sometimes.
My father just got worse and worse and time after time my mother would kick him out and then because my sister & brother wanted him back she would take him back.
He would give the same promises, and lies and never keep his word and this kept going on for years.

I was drugging hard however still living at home.
He had lost his bookie business. Had no money, no friends, and I nor my mother even spoke to him and he was living under the same roof.
My father was living there only because my mother felt sorry for him because he had nowhere to go.
My father always plays the lotto, every chance he gets he plays. Like most people he sticks with the same numbers everyday.
So one night the lotto came out and his numbers were the hit.
My mother confronted him and he said that he didn't play because he wasn't able to get them in on time.

Make a long story short.
He did win.
He won over 20 grand.
He had my brothers wife cash the ticket so he would avoid paying overdue taxes.
He gave my brother and sister 5 grand each.
My mother confronted my brother and his wife and the flat out lied to her face.
My mother confronted my father and he flat out lied to her face.
Finally a week later my mother tricked my brothers wife and made her spill the beans.
So that night was the only blow out.
My mother told my father to leave and never come back.
He said "I will leave at the end of the month". Like the nigga was paying rent or something.
My mothers response was "No you will leave NOW, not tomorrow, but right NOW".
He tried to say that he was going to give my mother money, and that he was also going to give me money even though he knew it was going on drugs but that because she was doing this she blew it for her and myself.
He wasn't going to give us SHIT. He was trying to hide it so that he didn't have to give us anything.
Truth be told my mother never asked him for anything because of the situation he was in. However you would THINK if you hit the lotto for 20 grand you would take care of the woman who always took care of you, who always had your back and who always took you back time and time, fuck up after fuck up!
So that night he left for good.
I saw him the next day and he didn't even say anything to me and that was the last I have seen of him.
I had blogged about it here once before.

I guess my brother and sister forgive him for everything.
I myself can not.
I can not forgive the nights of beatings.
I can not forgive the times of betrayals to me, to my mother.
Plain and simple he left that night out of my life forever.