"Crackie of Camden"

I'm sorry but what the FUCK is up with Amy Winehouse? Every picture I see of her she stoned, her hair is crazy. Looks like she hide her stem and rigs in there, and her fucking nails are DIRTY! I mean fucking nasty!
Here's a link to a site that I love its called "dlisted". It has all the latest news on just about everyone. Just check out the pictures of "Crackie" first!

Another Year Older. Another Man Released From Prison

Whats up my peoples? Just letting everyone know whats been going on with me the past few weeks or so since my last post.
This past Wednesday was my birthday. I turned 28 years old. Seems like I'm older from all the shit I done and all the shit I seen in my lifetime.
Gypsy got me 2 new pairs of Timberland boots, 4 shits, and we are going to go out to a movie and diner this weekend. 2 friends of mine from the program got me something as well which I was totally shocked at because they really don't have money to buy me anything. So of course she didn't buy it for me she went out and stole it but hey its the thought that counts right? One girl, Judy, got me a bottle of perfume, Charlie White by Revlon. The other girl, Joann got me a new DVD, The Hulk. I thought that was really cool of them to even part with shit they sell for money to give it to me for my Birthday! Judy and Joann are twin sisters and there Birthdays are on August 31st so I will of course get them a little something nice.
Joann's boyfriend of 6years just came home from doing 3 & a half years in prison for drug charges. He literally came home last night. I saw him today and he looked really good and I wished him nothing but the best and for him to try to stay out of trouble and not go back to that fucking shit hole!
Joann was doing really bad when he man went into prison, she beat her dope connect for money and couldn't get any work, then turned into a fucking crackhead of all things. She just went to the dentist to get her teeth taken out so she can have dentures put in.
Also being she was doing so bad she decided to have this couple Vicky & Kay come live with her to help her out. Seems only that they don't help her out and they treat her like shit. They leave in a car in the morning and don't even ask Joann to come along. Now there all going the same way so why not ask Joann to come along?
Yesterday Vicky knew that Joann's Boyfriend was coming home so she was trying to be all nice to Joann. She gave her money, bought cigarettes, new sheets for their bed and so on.
That's just her being the dope fiend that she is trying to get in good with the boyfriend making it like shes been doing this the whole time she was there and that's not the case.
Since I have known Vicky & Kay they have lived with other people and never had a place they can call there own. Now this is about 5 or 6 years I'm talking about. You would think they would just go into a shelter and in 6months or so they would have a place of there own that welfare would help pay for but no. For some reason they rather live with other people and leech off of them and then when it comes time for them to leave they always leave on bad terms.
Judy stole 2 MP3 players for her kids and she asked me to please put music on them for the kids, which I did. Then Joann came to me with a MP3 asking me to do the same, I did it for her as well. However today I put the word out that if anyone wants me to put music on there MP3, or iPod or whatever they have that I will charge them for it.
Because today I overheard someone saying that if they give me there MP3 that I will put music on it for them and they seem to think that its going to be free well they have a surprise coming to them.
If they were to go on Fulton Street and have it done there they charge 15 bucks each time, no matter if you put 1 or 100 songs on, 15 every time you have it done, and I think they charge more if you want movies put onto it.
So that's about it. I have also been spending more time with my mother. I slept over her house 2 times this week and after posting this and checking some emails I'm going there again tonight. She loves having me over and I enjoy spending time with her.
My mother and I have a great relationship and I am very grateful for that. She was the only one who didn't give up on me when I was at my worst with my addiction and I love her even more for that!
So to all my online peeps and bloggers out there keep your head up and Stay Up!
sKILLz

Where Are They Now?

Something about summer nights in Brooklyn that make me think about when I was growing up and was running wild, doing dumb shit and the people I used to hang with at the time. See summer in Brooklyn there was always something going on. Winters aren't much different but its just something about the heat, people being out all hours of the night, and just the smell in the air. It didn't matter if it was a weekend or a weekday there was always something to get into and most of the time it wasn't legal.
I used to hang out in Cooper projects alot and over there I caught alot of my "firsts". My first blunt, my first fight, my first time dropping acid, my first bag of dope and so on.
Everyday was like a new adventure. Everyday we were into some kind of trouble and it was fun because we felt like we were invincible of course. The crew I was hanging out with at the time was a few years older then me so they were into some heavy drugs and dealing. That's how I became addicted at such a young age. That's also where I met Ronnie. (RIP)
One guy who I used to hang out with who was dealing crack at the time had a mother who was addicted to crack and HIV positive as well. Only after 3 years of knowing him and his mother his mom passed away due to HIV and after that he went and became a crack addict as well and I just lost touch with him.
Another kid I used to hang out with his nickname was Flip. His mother was killed when a man tried to rob her and she only had like 30bucks and I guess that wasn't enough for him so he went and shot her killing right on the spot. Flip didn't even get to say goodbye.
Phillip was about the same age as me and man did he have shit on his plate. First off his father was a big time gangster/drug addict when the family was younger. He had 1 older sister and 1 younger sister. I hung out with the whole family really. They weren't far apart in age at all. The mother was on methadone for like 40years and she was HIV positive. All of the children became drug addicts. The sisters began selling themselves for drugs while Phil and I would go out robbing, stealing and selling drugs to provide for our habits. The mother died a slow and painful death as the children watched on helplessly. Sadly ALL of the children contracted HIV. The sisters got it from prostitution and Phillip got it from sharing needles from other junkies. I havent seen any of them in over 5 years.
Then there was Mike. Mike was another partner in crime with me. His father was an addict and died of and overdose. His mother worked her ass off to provide a good life for him his brother and sister. Mikes brother was always in and out of jail his whole life. I think hes locked of as of now doing a state bid. His sister had 2 children at an early age and smokes crack.
Mike became a heroin addict and we used to hustle together and get high together as well. I have tried to contact him several times and nothing since. Last I heard of Mike he was on a methadone program and he was working and doing really good. If thats true and a really hope it is I wish him nothing but the best.
These are just some of the people that come to my mind right now. I always wonder who they are, where they are, what there doing and if there even still alive. Do they think of me? What memories come to mind when they do? Well to the ones I just mentioned and all the others you are always in my thoughts and I wish you nothing but the best!
Stay Up!

Is It The Heat?

I don't know what it is lately but I feel like I'm just going to snap. Today on the bus going to my program there was fucking mayhem. As soon as Gypsy and I stepped onto the bus there was this Spanish guy fighting with the driver of the bus. What they were fighting about I wasn't too clear on. The Spanish guy says to the driver that he was "going to punch him in the face". As soon as he said that the driver stopped the bus and got on the phone calling the cops saying he had just bee threatened. He told the Spanish guy that if he didn't get off the bus that everyone else had to get off.
Now who's yelling at the Spanish guy, who's yelling at the driver and still the bus is parked and not moving. The Spanish guy buts his losses and gets off the bus.
After that some black lady with her little boy and husband who seemed to be a little slow to everyone started yelling at the driver saying that he "was going to Hell". As she yelling at the driver another black girl a little younger started yelling at the slow girl. Saying "this is my hood" and "they know me in the bookings". The slow black girl was getting off the bus at her stop and keep telling the other girl to get off the bus and fight her. The black girl was saying some shit like "fuck you, you methadone bitch". Now first off the girl wasn't even on the program she was just a little crazy and slow and raggy like, but if you ask me if the other girl would have got off the bus she would have gotten her ass beat!
Now Gypsy starts yelling at the black girl saying "don't go categorizing people that are in the program because not all of them are alike" I was waiting for the black girl to say something to Gypsy because honestly I don't know what would have happened. I don't know if I would have been able to control myself or not.
The black girl did not say a word and got off on the next stop.
As we pulled up to the Ikea and about 10 people got off I screamed "next time take the free fucking shuttle bus to Ikea"!
Ahhhh what a fucking day and its not over yet.........
Stay Up!

FUCK IKEA!

So they finally opened up the new Ikea in Red Hook. It opened up on June 18Th and since then the bus route I take has been fucked and packed with people going to the Ikea.
Now I don't understand as to why they get on my bus when all they have to do is wait and a FREE shuttle bus will take them right to the Ikea without stopping.
The first day it opened the bus drivers were so fed up with people asking them "does this bus go to Ikea"?.
Now it seems like they not only ask the drivers but they ask anyone who is getting on the B77 bus as well.
Everyday I try to get out earlier and earlier and yet it seems like the bus takes forever to come and when it finally does come the bus is so packed with people you can forget about a seat, your lucky if you can even get on the fucking thing.
Yeah I guess I'm just venting because this Ikea has made it so that now I REALLY hate going there. I mean I hated it before but now it makes the trip even more miserable to go on.
They keep saying there going to put more buses on the route to accommodate all the people,and the rush of people that take this bus and not the free shuttle. So far I have not seen a change!
Also you have people that go to the program and because they don't want to pay they jump on the free shuttle bus.
Do you really think that they want those fucking kinda people on that bus? When first off there not shopping at Ikea, there loud, there dirty, and just plain fucking nasty.
How long will it be before there taking pills on the bus, fighting, or selling drugs if there not doing it already because they don't give a fuck anyway.
I just need to get away from this shit....................Till Next time Homies!
Stay Up!

Out With The Old & In With The New

I didn't realize its been so long since I last made a post on here.

Lets see whats been going on in my life........

Were STILL doing major work on our apartment. Were getting new floors and were looking at paint shades to choose for each room. Were doing mostly all the work ourselves because the landlord doesn't really want to pay for anything because Gypsy own her apartment.
The easiest way I can explain it to people is its basically like shes rent control so she pays like a monthly fee which is cheaper then what the rent should be for this apartment in this area and for the amount of room we have. (The whole 2nd floor).
So the landlord feels like she should pay for certain thing when legally she doesn't have to. So we have been paying for things ourselves and just taking it off the monthly fee.
Our new beds are coming tomorrow and I can't fucking WAIT! Were getting a queen bed for us and then a twin bed that were putting in the living room and setting up as a day bed / couch.
Our hallway was a filthy mess for 2 months and I finally just couldn't take it anymore so I cleaned it. 2days after cleaning it I come home to a hallway filled to the top with garbage and broken up shit, and old beds and old rugs. Gypsy went in the hallway to tell the fucking pig Mexicans that live upstairs to stop putting there shit there and throwing shit there. Gypsy was pointing at the Mexicans wife and the wife took Gypsy's finger and twisted it.
Gypsy then told the husband to tell her wife to keep her fucking hands to herself because next time she will rip her neck off.
I was in the ambulance with my friend Gremlin because his sugar was too low and he was having a attack. When I came back up and she told me what happened I was getting ready to leave for a block party that Lisa was having by her moms house in Brooklyn I opened the door to 2 cops standing there wanting to talk to Gypsy about the encounter with the Mexican wife.

Now the Mexican cunt told the cops that Gypsy said she would get her dog to attack her when you ALL know she would never do that seeing that we do animal rescue and that's just fucking INSANE!
Make a long story short the cops took the report and left. Why do we have such pigs in our building? Why do people feel comfortable living in such filth?
I don't know and I don't want to know I just don't want that shit in my house! Were trying to get everything new and everything redone so that its going to look really fucking good and make us feel good when we come home to a nice clean new apartment.

We took Harley, our ShitZu, to get spayed on Saturday. We took him to the ASPCA Mobile Van that comes around once a month. He got his 3 yearly shots, his nails trimmed, and spayed for 7 dollars! How fucking cool is that?! So there is NO REASON for people to not have spayed there dog or cat!
When he was done he was still a little groggy but other then that hes doing fine and healing well. Bandit must sense that something is up because hes not fucking with him like normal.

Other then all that going on with us it seems like the same old same old with everyone else that we come in contact with at my program.
Still grimy, still not working, still begging, still envious, and still talking shit!
Fuck em! Were doing us and were going to keep on doing us!

Thanks to everyone that sends me love on here as well as emails.

From The Hospital To Harlem

First off sorry to those who read me on the regular. I know I should be posting more
often it's just that sometimes I either don't know how to get what I want to say out,
or what I'm trying to say doesn't come out right at ALL. I'm sure other bloggers
have the same problem right guys?!!?

Here's the lowdown, we are re-doing the whole apartment and I mean everything.
Out with the old and in with the new. I got a job, yes a real one, and I'm actually working
on getting a second one. So why not get things we not only need but want if we can?
See thats one thing about me, I might love to get high but I know when to draw
the fucking line and make sure the bills are paid and things get done. 
Gypsy and I just went to SLEEPYS and got a queen bed, a Tempur-Pedic, that feels like HEAVEN! I cant wait till everything is ready and we get it. You KNOW were going to
brake that fucker in!

Seems like people at our program are jealous because Gypsy and myself work,
and spend money on things we need and want.
See here's the thing the people I speak of now are fucking lowlifes and swear that they
are either better then most or they have class when they simply don't.
Of course I like getting high, but I like to pay my bills first, then get something for Gypsy, and myself. Of course I have to stay fly and then get high. With them its whatever money they
get they go and spend it on drugs. Dope, Crack, Pills, fucking whatever. Then when that money
runs out they just go out and steal something else sell it and do the whole thing over again.
Or they will come over to me or Gypsy and ask to borrow money because they spent
everything and now they don't have money for dog food. I'm sorry but if you had 100
yesterday theres no reason for you not to have dog food for the fucking week,
let alone the next day. Correct?


My good friend Lisa is back in the hospital so me and my homeboy Gremlin have
been going to see her everyday and also last week Gypsy and I got her to adopt
a cat from us. 6 days after getting the cat she goes into the hospital.
So we have been going to Harlem to
check on him, his name is BUSTER, I will post some pix up of him at a later time.
hopefully she will be getting out of the hospital this Monday so I really hope she does because I know being in the hospital and being sick sucks fucking stank ass balls. 

So that's just whats been going on over here. I'm still alive and kicking and to the one who's really care you have my email and don't be shy. I check it everyday, many times a day on my phone.

The Ritual

I would try to stay sleeping as long as I could. Then it came a point where I couldn't sleep any longer and I was beginning to get so dope sick I needed to get out of the bed and get well. I was
still living with my mother at this time so I had all and any drug shit stashed where she couldn't find them. I would get my kit and head right for the bathroom. Only when it was early morning when my mother was still sleeping would I stay in my room and get well, but most times I went
in the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom the ritual began. Taking out the needle, spoon, tie, cotton, and of course
the bags of dope. 
I would try to be as quiet as I could opening the bags and emptying them into the spoon.
Then once they were on in the spoon I would add the water. Mixing it and sucking it up into the needle were all part of the ritual.
Toward the end I needed 4 or 5 bags just to get well in the morning just so I could function and shower and brush my teeth. Sometimes I would have such a hard time finding a vein that it
would take me almost 30Min's just to get off. The needle would be filled almost to the top with blood and dope and I keep poking myself because I refused to skin it. I needed to get it right in, and see the blood.
Then once I got it, I would feel the warm rush inside my body and felt myself getting better. Suddenly any troubles I was thinking about slipped away even if it is only for that moment. Any and all pain is totally gone. Now the only thing I'm feeling is a warm comforting blanket all over my body. Its an amazing feeling, and I do love that feeling oh so much.

I Have Faith!

I honestly don't know where to begin. First off let me say sorry for not posting on the regular
here but all my close online peeps know whats been going on and I have been having mad
stress in my life.
Yes this is a great outlet for me to let it go and put my frustration outside of my mind of only for
a quick minute. However I feel somethings I shouldn't be putting out there for all and anyone to read.
Anyways I'm going to give everyone a lil bit about whats going on in my life.
Today I had court in Brooklyn and I honestly do not think its going good at all. I am out on 2
bails, for 2 different cases.
This case that I went for today it seems like the DA wants to take it to trial and theres no offer
as of yet. Now I know that if this goes to trial I have a strong possibility of doing some kind of
time. Not time in the sense I will have grey hairs when I come out but to me 1 day behind bars to too many!
Those that have been will feel me on that one!
I feel helpless for some reason even tho I know I can fight it and have my side of the story and I honestly feel like I'm not in the wrong, but that's a whole other topic.
I'm looking for some legit work and it seems like every door I think is going to open doesnt and it shuts on me.
However I'm not giving up and I'm keep on trucking!
I mean fuck, I'm going to be 28 this August. August 13Th for those that want to get me a gift (LOL).
I don't want to be running the streets and have my family and wife worrying about me if I'm coming home or not, if I'm getting into some kind of beef, or if some crackhead is going to try
to rob my fucking earnings. Yes I have sold drugs since I was young and if I wanted I could go
to one of my old connects and get something to sell right fucking now but like I said I just don't
fucking want that anymore. I want a "normal" life with my wife and our babies. Right now it
seems like something keeps getting in my way and the walls are getting higher and higher.
Other then all this shit that's going on Gypsy and I are thinking about taking in another dog and trying to save another one. Bandit is a dominant male and we cannot have another male in the house without some kind of static but we have been pretty lucky and I have faith that
whichever dog we take in next we will be able to work it out.
To all my real peeps I'm here and you know how to get at me so get at me whenever you can!
Stay Up!!

Content (Update)

This is a update on the blog I posted not too long ago titled "Bound To Happen".
The mother of the child, Judy, was sentenced to Rikers Island for 20 days and already has completed her time. Her daughter that was with her was taken from her and kept in custody
until her father came and gave a clean urine to them and showed he wasn't using drugs. Now
was it his urine that he gave I highly doubt that because he uses everything from beer to pills to crack. Either way he gave a clean urine and got the little girl back. She spent I believe 2 nights in there custody.
Since then I have seen Judy and it seems like nothing has changed with her. You think having
your child taken from you and sent to some strange facility would be enough for her to want to straighten her life out.
This past week we had to give Mazzy up for adoption. We found her a great family with a great home in Long Island and shes going to live a great life till the end of her days. When I had to give her up I felt as if I was giving up one of my children and it killed me to do so even though I knew she was going to a great home with a family that's going to give her the world.
Now you would think a mother who gave birth to this child would feel the same way and want to change things in her life so that something like that would never happen again but I guess not.
I saw her just yesterday and there she was dragging the little girl everywhere in the hood
trying to sell the few things she had stolen from the stores.
Seems to me like nothing has changed in her life and she either doesnt give a fuck about her
kids or shes just so used to living the life she has lived for over 30years that shes content with
how her life is going